All posts filed under: Sky’s Diary

The Centre Altar Featured | SpiritMAMA

In the Centre of the Medicine Wheel, I Found Chaos

But, it’s really like a little pet chaos. No synchronistic external events, that ‘prove’ we are really experiencing something. No. It’s like I am melting away from the world. The Centre is supposed to be where we find Balance. Either I am already there or Balance makes me feel itchy, wanting and cold, with that old restlessness like a tiny constant wind blowing in my ear. Remember, remember. Well? What is it? I have come to the end of my first year in the medicine spiral of my ancestors. We come to the end at the Centre. We come to our end at the centre.

SpiritMAMA with Son in Forest | SpiritMAMA Blog

They Are Speaking

When I first moved to this neighbourhood I was in the grips of a terrible panic. It probably began as postpartum anxiety – my son was only one and a half then – but due to a debilitating lack of sleep with baby, the anxiety and compulsive fear behavior remained. It was extremely difficult. I turned to my altar and prayer for relief, somewhere I hadn’t been for at least the past 10 years. I prayed daily and in earnest for every little thing, I set up altars and tended them with care. I felt some relief but complained of feeling no connection. I asked for a teacher and none came. But then that Spring, funny things started to happen. During our many walks outside we came across animals in need; a baby crow with a broken leg, a dog lost in the depths of the forest on the side of a mountain, a cat lost away from his home, the little sewer rat that walked right up to my feet out in my yard, …

Jonah and the Whale | SpiritMAMA Blog

A Meeting with Death in the West

I’m wrapping up a year-long traverse deep down into the medicine spiral. Like a medicine wheel but with Celtic leanings, the spiral takes us into ourselves and back out again, shiny and new. So much has come out of these retreat weekends, five in all. At the dawn of each season and corresponding direction, and one more for the heart-centre, we meet, we meditate, we cook food together, we immerse in the teachings. This past weekend was the West, the Fall and Samhain. No matter the lineage, the theme of the West is always the same: death, dying, letting go, receding, resting and digesting. Just think of what’s happening in nature to steer your course (after all we humans are actually a part of it all, even though we vehemently deny it). The trees are bedding down, losing leaves, the plants in the garden receding, dropping into that heavy slumber that protects them through the winter – or perhaps they have been harvested for their gold and then composted, to be digested by the soil. Everything around …

Samhain Altar 2015 with Picture | SpiritMAMA Blog

Samhain Altar Share and Remembering Loved Ones

My Samhain altar this year is dedicated to my ancestors, my family, my husband’s ancestors and our recently departed.   In the week leading up to Halloween, I had a very strong dream about an old friend of mine who died young. My best friend actually, in high-school, she was 17 when she died in a freak car crash. Her death effected me greatly for many years but I had not thought of her much lately. In the dream I was visiting her mom in present time. Her mom was showing me pictures of her and pieces of her handwriting, clothing and other things of hers. In the background a song was playing, The Who’s, Listening to You. The Who was one of her favourite bands so it didn’t surprise me, but as I came up out of sleep into this world, the lyrics played over and over in my head: See me, feel me, touch me, heal me. I cried for a while. After digesting the whole thing, I realized that it was a visitation. And …

Woman With Clouds by Christian-Schloe | SpiritMAMA Blog

My Dear Guide – Shamanism and Grave’s Part Two

My road to recovery from illness has had many facets. Like peeling an onion only to get to the next layer, tears and all. There’s been the physical symptoms to address, but I knew from the beginning that this illness was more complex. In 2012 my baby son was 3 years old. I started working out again for the first time after pregnancy. I wanted to get back into shape and to deal with the postpartum anxiety that had escalated through the first three years of my son’s life, to an uncomfortable ceiling. Two months later I was feeling great. I did a body-weight workout three times per week and ran whenever I could. Then, on consecutive workouts I started getting chest pains. This was so strange that I ignored them at first, thinking it was a pectoral muscle strain. But then I noticed that the pain went away if I sat down to rest, which a muscle strain wouldn’t. When I clued in it was my heart I called a cardiac nurse friend of mine who said, “You realize that …

The Heartache by Christain Schloe | SpiritMAMA Blog

After I got Grave’s Disease – Part One

Everything fell apart. But, it really had to. They say disease, sickness, injury come to show us what we are ignoring. Or at least show us where we are in disharmony. For me, Graves made me sit down. Literally. I sat on my couch for months because even the slightest of strain or excitement made my heart race out of my chest. Getting up to go to the bathroom for example. Getting upset at a sad movie. Climbing stairs. Dwelling on negative things in my life. All equaled chest pains and tachycardia. It’s really the most vulnerable I have ever felt, my heart a timid bird in its cage of ribs, fluttering. So, I sat. And sat. And my life stopped. Up to then I had always been a busy-bee. If not busy enough then doing make-work projects that burdened me with a lot of extra stress, my fuel. I worked-out a lot. I had a small child plus nannied another. I liked drama and was often inundated with negative thoughts about people in the my life – …

I will Never Turn to the Dark Side Meme | SpiritMAMA Blog

How to Forgive the Dark Side

Last night I had a really vivid dream that moved from one story to the next story. When I woke up I was like, wow! a lot going on there. I felt the tug to meditate immediately. What followed was the densest meditation session I have ever had. The energy in my mind was like a thousand tiny creeks bubbling, like a friend who’s bursting with something to tell and can’t talk fast enough, like fireflies zipping about in the night… you get it right? Meditation has been a big part of my life in the past four months. For the first couple of months not much happened. I would basically sit and think for half an hour. But recently, I’m continually having insights. Sometimes the info feels like it’s a cohesion of many deeper thoughts I have, or from my higher-self. Sometimes the info feels like it’s from an outside source. I have often seen myself suspended up over a river of torrential thoughts, sometimes on a balcony, sometimes just levitating. I can hear my …

Smoke Rings by Maegan | SpiritMAMA Blog

How I Quit Smoking

This story never gets old. At the ripe old age of 29 I had been a pack-a-day smoker for 16 years. I started in grade 8. It wasn’t to fit in, rather it was to get off my head – the first foray into mind-alteration. But this story isn’t really about that. This story is about me at 29 and I’ll provide a snapshot: she is in a low period of her life; in college and failing, unemployed, suffering from panic attacks, living in a house where some unmentionable activity is going on, with very unhappy people around, and she’s sick, all. the. time. Every little virus, bug or bacteria going around seemed to hone in on me. I couldn’t shake it. On any given day I was invariably coughing up a lung or puking. I had acne running up and down my back and all over my scalp and face, which had just kind of appeared out of no-where (and didn’t help with the going outside part – of life). I could barely get …

Yoga Double Exposure by Victor Tondee | SpiritMAMABlog

The Mat, She is Tenacious

Happy to report that I am back on my mat. You’d think from reading this blog that I do yoga all the time. I don’t. I’m actually not a creature of habit. I find that any routine can get stale, which bores me – and in my experience of myself, that’s when I start to rebel. Usually this means a full stop. It’s not that I get lazy. It’s more like a feeling of being confined. This claustrophobia and subsequent rebellion applies to most routines I attempt – even taking vitamins! One day I won’t take that massive B12. I just won’t dammit! And it all unravels from there. Before this day two weeks ago, I had not stepped on my mat for three months. I’ve been having Graves symptoms again – mostly palpitations and tachycardia. This gets really uncomfortable when doing anything physical. So I stopped my practice. Buuuut…I also stopped meditating. I stopped doing pranayama or chanting as well. I just didn’t come to the mat at all. I tried and tried to get up …